Here are the rules of dishwashing. There are only 5 of them.
1. Manage the mess.
2. If it’s greasy wipe it out.
3. Scraping is better than scrubbing.
4. Let the water do the work.
5. Utilize your tools.
The Story
On January 7, 2023 I started doing the dishes. Not occasionally, or when nagged, or when the dirty dishes got overwhelming, but every single day. A youth minister told me that any devout Christian should do something hard every day. I know immediately what that was. It was doing the dishes.
In my family, the dishes just weren’t getting done. They piled. They soaked. They lined the counters like apocalyptic wrecks, but they did not get clean until almost every single dish was dirty. That could be days. Sometimes week. Paper plates and cups and plastic forks were purchased in desperation. Cooking ceased. Sandwiches and chips became our mainstay.
Something had to be done. So, I started doing the dishes.
The effect was immediate. My wife and children looked at me in amazement. A palpable calm descended on the house. Best of all, cooking began happening again. Once everyone knew the dishes would be done, everyone started making things, which meant everyone started eating things, which meant a small happiness bloomed in the kitchen and spread throughout the house.
It also boosted my dad status. “I’m impressed by how you started doing the dishes every day,” my wife said. “And you never complain.”
One time, while arguing with my spouse about household chores, my daughter made a trenchant point. “Yeah, but Dad does the dishes every single day.”
After a while I discovered some benefits to doing the dishes. It became part of my daily wind-down routine. I listened to my daughter practicing the piano during that time. Or listened to music or podcasts. I had the satisfaction of doing something concrete that offset my ministerial work as a hospital chaplain.
And so, I continued doing the dishes. That’s how the Rules of Dishwashing came into being. Wisdom distilled from months of experience and experiments.
Of course, you could just buy a dishwasher. But even if you do, you’ll still end up doing the dishes from time to time. At Thanksgiving. At your friend’s place which doesn’t have a dishwashing machine. When your dishwasher breaks. Or when you just want to really impress your family that you can indeed do the dishes.
The Procedure
About organizing: The first task of every skillful dishwasher is to manage the mess. Organize dishes by type. Plates in one pile. Bowls in another. Have a glass area. A pots and pans area. A silverware area. Don’t even think about washing dishes until you’ve corralled the mess into neat pens. Tame the dishes before you wash them.
About wiping: Wipe grease out of pots and pans. This is especially important because grease will ruin your wash water and force you to use a large amount of dish soap. You’ll want plenty of paper towel on hand, though toilet paper will do in a pinch. Use liberally and get the grease off.
About soaking: Scrubbing is the heavy labor of washing dishes. Try to avoid it at all costs. Let the water do the work. Rinse everything. Soak strategically. Target dishes with dried or cooked on food residue— pots, frying pans and utensils. You’ll quickly learn which dishes need soaking. If you need to soak a dish for several hours, do so. The water will wear the mess down all by itself, leaving just a little scrubbing to do. You’ll save lots of time and frustration this way.
About scraping: It really is better than scrubbing. Use a rubber spatula to scrape leftover food off plates and bowls. For frying pans and baking dishes, use a sharp edge — a metal spatula or a dough knife — to scrape off burned on food. A little muscle power used for scraping is better than the ton of muscle needed for scrubbing through the same mess.
About wash water: Use two tubs of water, one for washing and one for rinsing. Or, you can rinse each dish by hand, which is the cleaner but less efficient option. Use the hottest water you can stand, and the best dish soap you can get. Change the wash water when it’s grey instead of clear. Change the rinse water when it starts to become cloudy.
About tools: Use a bottle brush for glasses; a brush for straws comes in handy too. Use a washcloth for Tupperware and large dishes like mixing bowls. Sponges or dish brushes work well for plates and bowls. Scrubby pads are a necessity for pots and pans and any dish with sticky food residue.
About the order: Start with the least dirty dishes—typically, these are glasses. Then wash plates and bowls; these are quickly done and give a nice sense of accomplishment. Move onto mixing bowls and measuring cups. Wash utensils and pots and pans last. The order of washing may vary depending on which dishes are dirtiest; use your judgement.
About finishing up: Your dishes should look clean and feel clean. Go for squeaky clean. If you air dry your dishes, organize them by type so that they’re easier to put away later. Then dump your wash and rinse water, rinse your tools, and wipe down the counter and sink. You’re done.
Now crack open a beverage and reward yourself for a job well done.
—Eric Nelson